About Will Durst’s mistaken column about gun control and Senator Diane Feinstein’s rants about assault rifles — what does the 2nd Amendment have to do with hunting or target shooting? Nothing. What does it have to do with citizens defending themselves against a government-controlled militia? EVERYTHING! Just ask the successful Viet Cong, the Cambodian Khmer Rouge, the Taliban, and lots of other grassroots insurgencies. The Founding Fathers knew that, and so do a high percentage of US voters.

It’s only human nature to want to take action after such a harrowing traumatic event. To do something. Anything, to protect our kids. And make sure that Newtown never ever happens again. Here. There. Anywhere.

OK, so we're broke. Not "have to stretch to next payday" broke. Really broke. Our accounts are overdrawn, the credit cards are maxed out; and if that's China on the phone, tell them we just stepped out. Yes, again.

Will Durst

WASHINGTON • Arizona has more than 90 illegal tunnels under its border with Mexico, the most discovered in any state in the Southwest, law enforcement officials told senators this week.

Will Durst, guest commentary

I want to know. You want to know. The whole world wants to know. What's the deal with the surprising retiring Republicans? Not age-related retiring, as in shawl on the lap watching the third DVD of the fifth season of "Matlock" with a glass of tepid tea on the side table. Retiring as in coy, reticent, withdrawn. Obviously, we are not speaking of those pesky majority members of the House - demure as an over-caffeinated grizzly on roller skates gallivanting down a fashion runway and, yes, that means you, Kate Moss.

They’ve tried fire and robots and domes and booms and drones and boxes and rosary beads and even pantyhose stuffed with human hair, but so far nothing has slowed the Deepwater Horizon oil spill from creeping toward our Southern Coast like a drunken lobbyist staggering toward a free seafood buffet. And almost as ugly. This maritime miasma promises to be the most monumental attack of sludge to hit American shores since Ann Coulter’s most recent book.

They’ve tried fire and robots and domes and booms and drones and boxes and rosary beads and even pantyhose stuffed with human hair, but so far nothing has slowed the Deepwater Horizon oil spill from creeping toward our Southern Coast like a drunken lobbyist staggering toward a free seafood buffet. And almost as ugly. This maritime miasma promises to be the most monumental attack of sludge to hit American shores since Ann Coulter’s most recent book.

Will Durst: Can we stop with the waving of the sharp instruments for a minute and speak rationally to this whole ugly recession mess we find ourselves currently mired in? C’mon. You know what recession mess I’m talking about. 

A politician making lemonade after being pelted by a bushel of media-chucked lemons is as familiar as red yarn on the handle of a black bag on the luggage carousel at Chicago's O'Hare airport. But few alive have seen the likes of Rod Blagojevich. Not content to stir up a nice, cold pitcher or erect a simple stand, the former Illinois governor is challenging Minute Maid's supremacy in the field of citrus concentrate. Refusing to exit the stage quietly after removed from office, he instead has gone on the offensive. Some might argue the 52-year-old Democrat has given a whole new meaning to the word "offensive."

As the curtain mercifully falls on the Most Important Election of Your Lifetime, the nation breathes a collective sigh of relief. Or does it?

Sweaty, wrestling scholars have yet to establish whether it's a Chinese, Arabian or American curse; nonetheless somebody once said, "May you live in interesting times." Well, we are knee-deep in the middle of one of those "interesting times." Any more interesting and psychiatrists will start franchising electro-shock therapy treatments at shopping mall kiosks.

NEW YORK - In a sign of the times, the National Debt Clock in New York City has run out of digits to record the growing figure.

Now that the Olympic flame has been doused by the tears of a thousand jade blossoms, it's time for America's most athletically dexterous mutants to stash their red, white and blue togs and head home. And the national spotlight turns to the political conventions featuring our most ethically dexterous mutants. The patriotic rhetoric and colors remain the same, only the fabric changes. Less emphasis on spandex and more on washable wool.

 All I want to know is - what's the big deal? Settle down. People, you're going to pop an embolism the size of a balloon poodle tail. I'm talking about the reaction to the 6-3 vote by the Supreme Court upholding an Indiana law that requires a person to show a photo ID in order to vote.

All the accolades wouldn’t have mattered much without the ring. Scottsdale Saguaro quarterback Tim Ruben hit the elusive 2,000-yard rushing, 2,000-yard passing milestone in the third quarter of the 4A-I championship game against Tucson Canyon del Oro on Dec. 8, but it was the furthest thing from his mind one quarter later.

The opponents have been tough enough the past few weeks for Chandler Valley Christian. Dealing with the tragic loss of teammate Danny Pasanella has made the Trojans’ road even harder.

The opponents have been tough enough the last few weeks for Chandler Valley Christian. Dealing with the tragic loss of teammate Danny Pasanella has made the Trojans road even harder.

LOS ANGELES - Fred Durst pleaded no contest to seven misdemeanors, including assault, battery and reckless driving, for deliberately hitting two people with his car.

NEW YORK - The word "tentpole" is used to describe a blockbuster movie that can appeal to everyone. If it were applied to a festival, the Tribeca Film Festival would be it.

March 9, 2005

December 18, 2004