Paradise Valley family pens handbook for Muslim teens

Imran Hafiz was a fourth-grader when terrorists hijacked four airliners and wrought the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, on the East Coast. At school, “some kid accused me of being a member of the Taliban for no other reason than being brown and Muslim,” he said.

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Even when Hafiz emphatically said he had nothing to do with the repressive group on the other side of the earth, the other boy insisted, “Well, you could be.”

Now 15 and a sophomore at Brophy College Preparatory in Phoenix, Hafiz asserts that the comment is not the boy’s fault.

“It doesn’t start from hate. It starts from ignorance,” he said. “All they knew about my religion was that a fanatical group of people did this terrible thing, and somehow everybody must be connected with it.”

The incident gave impetus for him, his sister, Yasmine, and their mother, Dilara, to collaborate to write and publish a book about their Islamic faith geared to young people. In August, they published “The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook,” a 132-page book broken into 15 chapters dealing with such topics as “Islam 101,” “The Quran,” “Misunderstanding and Misconceptions,” “Cultural Confusion” and “The 4 D’s: 'Dating, Dancing, Drinking and Drugs.’ ” The Paradise Valley family mixed humorous quizzes, colorful graphics and responses from other Muslim teens to produce the book, which they hope will help other young Muslims explain their faith to their peers.

Yasmine, 17, a senior at Phoenix Xavier College Preparatory, where she is a National Merit Scholar semifinalist, recalls scanning the nonfiction sections of bookstores. She found religious guidebooks for teens of many faiths and beliefs. “I asked my mom, 'Why isn’t there anything for Muslims?’ ”

She said her mother “realized the potential” of writing a book for Muslim teens. A longtime teacher at the Scottsdale Islamic Mosque, where she has overseen books and resources, Dilara searched the Web and found nothing about Muslims geared for teens.

After the Sept. 11 attacks, “we really couldn’t recognize the way our faith was being portrayed,” said Dilara, who was born in Karachi, Pakistan, and educated at Johns Hopkins University and the London School of Economics. “There was a lot of misunderstanding and misconceptions, and we felt the fanatical minority was getting all the attention.”

She said that moderate Muslims in America quickly became a “silent majority,” and their statements, calling for careful distinctions about all who call themselves Muslims, were lost in the discussion.

Imran, who as a freshman won Brophy’s Committed to Justice Award, told his friends, “On 9/11, Osama (bin Laden) didn’t just hijack those planes, he also hijacked my religion.”

The book project began in 2003 with a survey that was sent to about 40 full-time and weekend Islamic schools across the U.S. Some 150 responses came back from Muslim teens.

Teens were asked about the faith and issues they face as young people. They were queried on whether they pray, and if they fast during Ramadan. They were questioned what being a Muslim means to them, on whether they plan to go on a hajj — or pilgrimage — to Mecca, and why they are Muslims. Girls were asked whether they wear the traditional scarf, or hijab. Teens were asked about Muslim role models and whether it’s easy being a Muslim in America, among other things.

When the Hafiz trio examined the surveys, they found a wealth of material showing Muslims live out their faith with individuality without compromising the tenets of Islam. Many Muslim teens revealed that they are inconsistent about praying five times a day. Some said they make up for it by doing good deeds.

To a question, “Do I have to pray?,” the book offers, “No one can force you to pray — remember, no compulsion in religion, but if you believe that God wants you to pray, you will. Don’t pray if you’re doing it out of guilt or fear or parental pressure. Pray because you truly want to.” The handbook, sprinkled throughout with passages from the Quran, also provides a step-by-step guide to Islamic prayer.

The book supports a general ban on teen dating and dancing with someone of the opposite sex. Two entries: “Eighty percent of American Muslim teens think dating as teens is dumb” and “70 percent of American Muslim teens think dancing is OK, but only with members of the same sex — better to be safe than sorry. Slow dancing could lead to arousal which could lead to ... unwanted consequences.”

The Hafizes urge teens to be honest with their parents, and consult with them about dating and “err on the right side by not putting yourself into a situation which you’ll regret.” Parents should know when their children are hanging out with friends, and agree on some kind of middle ground, the book recommends.

“We are not presenting the book as the final authority on this,” Yasmine said. “We are telling people to use this book to discuss with your parents, or if you are in the community and your friends, we should be able to talk about these issues.”

There is caution about eating doughnuts because they may have been fried in lard (pork fat). “Stick with cheese and vegetarian pizza to be on the safe side, or check to see if the pepperoni is made from beef or turkey,” the book notes.

The teen guide “is being snapped up by libraries and schools because it is a resource,” Dilara said. They had a huge response at their first Valley book signing, and more are planned.

Yasmine said the book emphasizes that being American and Muslim are compatible. They are not at odds at all. ... We are showing that Muslims are Americans, and Americans are Muslims.” They say they hope the book dispels such myths that all Muslims are Arabs or speak Arabic, or worship a different God than Christians or Jews, or that Muslims believe that only they will go to heaven.

The Hafizes also tackle the statement “All Muslims are terrorists.” They tell teens to respond that “Islam does not encourage or condone terrorism” and that “in the Quran, taking another’s life is compared to killing all of humanity. Murdering innocent civilians is forbidden in any religion.”

The three took turns writing and adding to the manuscript, which was reviewed by Islamic scholars and chaplains. “We think it is a very middle-of-the-road perspective,” Dilara said. “Certainly the more conservative elements won’t agree with us, and maybe the very liberal also would not agree.”

A goal, she said, was to dispel stereotypes, like all Muslim girls cover their hair.

“Our approach is to live out your life as a good person and don’t stress out too much about the rituals,” Yasmine said.

“The American Muslim Teenager’s Handbook”

The book is published by Acacia Publishing and is available at Barnes & Noble for $11.95. Information: www.theamth.com