Q.C. group offers support, training for men

The economy is hitting everyone hard. But it's affecting men in a particular way because some aren't able to provide for their families for the first time and are coping by retreating into themselves, say two men planning a support group in Queen Creek.

There's a need to help local men examine their lives and become leaders in their homes and communities, said Kurt Hinkle, a 25-year Queen Creek resident.

That's why Hinkle and Larry Fontana, Hinkle's pastor at New Life Ministries Church in San Tan Valley, are offering a program to help create "authentic men." It's the first time the program, the Men's Fraternity "Quest for Authentic Manhood," will be offered to the community and not at a specific church, Hinkle said.

Men's Fraternity is a national program that leads men through three courses of study and self-examination. The first year is a 24-week course that helps men examine their own lives and challenges them to be more open emotionally.

Most men have a wall built up around their emotions, Hinkle said.

"When (men are) not transparent with other guys, with their wives, with their kids, that's when they tend to isolate themselves," Hinkle said. "Men think it's a sign of weakness if they're up front about their emotions."

And that isolation can lead to vices or worse, he said.

"They'll sit at home until they put a gun to the roof of their mouths, or start drinking, or start cheating on their wives," Hinkle said.

Those problems are amplified in the current economy. Fontana described a man at his church who has worked in a construction-related industry for years. His wife recently had to get a job for the first time handing out samples at Costco.

"Men are under the gun right now because they haven't been able to support their families," Fontana said.

Hinkle has firsthand experience with the program. He was struggling two years ago as he went through a divorce and was forced to retire from the Phoenix Fire Department paramedic job he loved due to a diagnosis of bladder cancer.

Then he discovered Men's Fraternity. He credits the self-examination with helping him turn his life around. He started going to church on a regular basis, gave up alcohol and started his own business making safety products.

"It really encouraged me to not sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself, to pursue the other dreams I have," Hinkle said. "It was by the grace of God I was able to do that."

While the Bible is referenced in sessions, a particular religion isn't pushed and anyone can feel comfortable coming, Fontana said. "There are a lot of men who need this," Fontana said. "They don't need to worry about being religious. That's fighting another battle."