One day, Goose Gossage says George Steinbrenner's mad ways chased him out of New York.

Few days later, Gossage says he "loves" Steinbrenner. This is after he hugged and kissed him on the cheek at the final All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

Excuse the contradictions. Even the Goose struggles to understand his relationship with one of the strangest characters in baseball history.

"I love the guy," Gossage said. "He's the greatest owner this game has ever seen. He was an awesome, awesome owner. He's just very ..."

Gossage paused, trying to find the right word.

"Crazy," he said.

In most ways, Gossage's 1978-83 tour with the New York Yankees ranks as a spectacular success. He earned millions, collected 150 saves and carried the Yankees to the 1978 title.

Yet a sad twist ended Gossage's wondrous, wacky ride with the Yankees. He could barely wait to escape Yankee Stadium.

And there was a simple reason for his discontent.

Steinbrenner.

The Boss, as Steinbrenner is known, revolutionized baseball by throwing cash into the free-agent marketplace. Spending freely, he crafted five World Series champs and grew into a cultural icon. A slightly fictionalized version of Steinbrenner even became a character on "Seinfeld."

As the veteran of one long phone conversation with Steinbrenner, I can report he's just as intense — and just as incomprehensible — as I imagined. In small doses, Steinbrenner is funny and, in his own weird way, charming.

But Gossage got a big dose. Too big.

"The more we won, the worse Steinbrenner got," Gossage said. "It was weird. It was very strange. All the fun had been taken out of the game for me." Gossage left the Yankees after the 1983 season to pitch for the San Diego Padres.

The Yankees were called "The Bronx Zoo," which is hopelessly inaccurate. I've visited the real Bronx Zoo, and the dignified animals there don't deserve such a malicious insult.

In 1982, with the Zoo at full swing, Steinbrenner ripped through three managers, three hitting coaches and five pitching coaches while employing 47 players. He couldn't rest.

Gossage clearly remembers a scene from Game 3 of the 1981 World Series, Steinbrenner stormed into the Yankees clubhouse to hassle starting pitcher Dave Righetti.

"You better win this game," Steinbrenner said as he shook his finger in Righetti's face, according to Gossage. "You better win."

Gossage was so enraged he nearly tossed Steinbrenner out of the clubhouse.

And he seems to regret he missed his chance.

"I almost grabbed him, myself," Gossage said. "I came this close."

Sitting in his living room, thinking back, Gossage gritted his teeth, shook his head. He wanted to illustrate how close he came to tossing The Boss, so he raised his pitching hand.

"Real close," he said, holding his first two fingers a millimeter apart.

But he didn't toss The Boss. He knew his anger, though righteous, would land him in a heap of trouble. Gossage is a bold man, but not quite that bold.

But this July 15, at the All-Star game, Gossage finally did grab Steinbrenner. He embraced his former boss in a bear hug and held him for a long moment. Gossage always sensed a gentle soul rested beneath Steinbrenner's razor-blade facade.

"Under that toughness is a, you know, a great guy," Gossage said. "I love George, but it was always love-hate for us."

He sighed.

"There's a fine line between love and hate, you know."

And he often crossed that line in his relationship with a kind, cruel man named Steinbrenner.