The Vent: April 27

"I've lived here 36 years and didn't realize I could go sight seeing up Camelback Mountain. Now that I know that Valle Vista (Road) exists and where it is, I want the area residents to know that I am on my way!"

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"To all the students that stayed home to protest the Day of Silence at Desert Ridge (High School); Great job. Way to make some noise."

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"America's favorite pastime: watching foreigners play Major League Baseball for millions of dollars a year. I can't believe they can't find enough Americans to field a team."

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"In your Wednesday editorial you said that we wanted a president that was better than we are - more polished, professional and intelligent. Well, you are describing Mitt Romney to a tee. It is too bad that all the media could do was criticize him for being 'too perfect' instead of recognizing his tremendous strengths."

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"Get over it, misguided folks. Once you are dead, that's it. They place you in a pine box, or better yet incinerate you, and that's it. You don't 'feel' anything ever again!"

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"I'm not an atheist bonehead, I'm an infidel bonehead. And if 86 percent of Americans talk to their imaginary friend, that does not mean he actually exists. You want your sky-fairy on our license plates? How about providing some proof he exists first."

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"Do I have this right: Lawfully elected lawmakers have created a law that requires law enforcement officers to enforce the law; certain 'activists' are upset about this and are threatening to replace the lawmakers with others who will be less interested in enforcing the law?"

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"Let's go out to eat. I'll pay for the dinner. You pay for the gas. I win!"

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"$120 for a barrel of oil? When are the Democrats in the Senate going to allow us to drill for our own oil in Alaska?"

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"A lot of nimrods in the United States over the years have said 'Oh, gas prices aren't so high. Look at what they pay per liter in England.' Well, guess what? Gas prices are now very comparable to what they have been paying in England for years."

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"The Bush administration has lied to America again. Last year, he said gasoline prices were so high because no refinery had been built in this country in over 20 years. $123 billion in profits later, no ground-breaking ceremony for a new refinery."

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"The federal government, and each state, should immediately form a Cabinet-level Department of Conversion Planning. In the last 125 years, we have burned out way through over half of all the petroleum in the world. In 100 years, or less, it will all be gone."

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"I'm going to call in a vent on days that oil hits a new high. So I will talk to you tomorrow."

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"We do not need Krispy Kreme Doughnuts in the East Valley or anywhere else in Arizona. We have the world's best doughnuts right now, Dunkin' Donuts. Even the grocery store doughnuts are better than Krispy Kreme."

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"It's been a few months since you've changed the format of the newspaper. Isn't it time to change it on us again?"