So the Yankees won't put Spider-Man on the bases, but they'll replace Crackerjacks — centerpiece of the song “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” — with Crunch ’N Munch?
I guess the Yanks heard the Red Sox were interested in bringing Crunch ’N Munch to Boston and decided to strike first. What's next? Replace Baby Ruths with “A-Rod Bars?”
Yeah, the team says it's because Crackerjacks are switching from boxes to bags, making then harder to handle. OK. But if George Steinbrenner isn't making a few bucks on the side in this deal, I'll eat 100 boxes — prizes included. As for the seventh-inning stretch, here's what we'll hear in the Bronx:
. . . Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'N Munch
whatever it takes 'cus our team costs a bunch
so it's root, root, root for the Yankees
if they don't win who'll be blamed?
’cus for one, two, three hundred mill
we should win every last game.
MONTY, MONTY, MONTY . . .
Why would you leave the perfect job at Stanford to become the ninth coach of the Golden State Warriors in the last 10 years?
Eight million bucks over four years — that has to be the reason.
Ask all the other college coaches who left for the pros (John Calipari, Rick Pitino, Lon Kruger, Tim Floyd, yadda, yadda) if this works. But at 57, Montgomery gets a wonderful retirement package without having to move out of Palo Alto and he will no longer be known as the second-best coach in the Pac-10.
From now on, he'll be known as “the nut who left Stanford for Oakland.”
Can Steve Sparks change his first name to “Casey?” That way, when it's not Randy Johnson's or Brandon Webb's turn in the rotation, we'll all know it's “Casey At The Mound.”
- Sammy Sosa sneezed his way to the disabled list, but Washington Post columnist Tom Boswell reminds us Sparks is no stranger to weird injuries. While a minor leaguer with Milwaukee in 1992, players watched a motivational speaker tear a phone book in half in the clubhouse. Recreating the event, Sparks separated his shoulder.
- I think Matt Mantei is on to something with this idea of becoming a starting pitcher. It's a lot harder to give up a walk-off homer in the first inning.
- Mark Grace will get his first shot at a national broadcast Saturday, working the Arizona-Florida game for Fox with Josh Lewin.