Bordow: NFL picks you can take to the bank - East Valley Tribune: Sports

Bordow: NFL picks you can take to the bank

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Posted: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 12:55 pm | Updated: 8:52 pm, Fri Oct 7, 2011.

Before we get to my NFL picks, a few words about my credentials.

I am a professional sportswriter; please don’t try this at home.

Any bad predictions I’ve made in the past — Yankees in five, Cowboys over the Cardinals in the 1998 NFL playoffs, the Suns will regret trading Stephon Marbury — are irrelevant. Everyone has a bad decade.

My co-owner and I have won three fantasy football championships, and it had nothing to do with the fact we had Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson and Steve Smith in a keeper league.

So without further ado, here are my sure-fire, 100 percent guaranteed NFL predictions.

(Unless, of course, they’re wrong).

AFC EAST

New England Patriots (12-4): The defense is slower and older, and Tom Brady’s foot is a concern, but they’re still the class of the division.

Buffalo Bills (8-8): Quick, name me three Bills’ starters.

New York Jets (8-8): You read it here first. Brett Favre will not play a full season.

Miami Dolphins (5-11): With Ricky Williams getting carries, season goes up in smoke.

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5): My boss is a Steelers fan. I love that team.

Cincinnati Bengals (8-8): Ocho Cinco muy loco.

Cleveland Browns (7-9): Derek Anderson was exposed last December. Get ready for Brady Quinn.

Baltimore Ravens (6-10): Quarterback Joe Flacco has a great arm, but he’s a rookie.

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis Colts: (12-4): Look for Marvin Harrison to have a big comeback season.

Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5): Dirk Koetter has found his niche as an offensive coordinator.

Tennessee Titans (7-9): Vince Young still can’t throw the ball.

Houston Texans (6-10): The one team I might be underestimating.

AFC WEST

San Diego Chargers (13-3): What, they’re going to win fewer games playing Denver, Kansas City and Oakland twice?

Denver Broncos (8-8): Jay Cutler will be the NFL’s next great quarterback. (He’d better be. I drafted him high).

Kansas City Chiefs (4-12): Oh, for the days of Hank Stram and Lenny Dawson.

Oakland Raiders: (3-13): Let’s get a pool going. Which day will coach Lane Kiffin be fired?

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys (12-4): There are too many knuckleheads in the locker room but, boy, can they play.

New York Giants (10-6): Eli Manning’s late-season play in 2007 wasn’t a fluke.

Philadelphia Eagles (9-7): I’d think more highly of them, but can Donovan McNabb stay healthy?

Washington Redskins (6-10): How to ruin a franchise, by Daniel Snyder.

NFC NORTH

Minnesota Vikings (11-5): Great defense, running game, but is Tavaris Jackson the answer at quarterback?

Green Bay Packers (10-6): Don’t worry about Aaron Rodgers. He’ll do just fine.

Detroit Lions (6-10): How does general manager Matt Millen keep his job?

Chicago Bears (6-10): Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback. Enough said.

NFC SOUTH

New Orleans Saints (11-5): Don’t be surprised if Drew Brees is the league’s MVP.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8): It’s been a long time since Jon Gruden and boy wonder were used in the same sentence.

Carolina Panthers (6-10): As long as Steve Smith doesn’t punch another teammate.

Atlanta Falcons (4-12): And Matt Ryan thought he didn’t have a lot of talent around him at Boston College.

NFC WEST

Seattle Seahawks (11-5): No one pays any attention to them, but they’re good. Real good.

Arizona Cardinals (7-9): More talent on the roster than last year, but schedule is brutal.

St. Louis Rams (6-10): If Marc Bulger gets hurt, could be worse.

San Francisco 49ers (4-12): Is Alex Smith biggest bust in NFL history?

And my Super Bowl prediction:

San Diego 27, Dallas 21.

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