Things were bad enough when Saskatchewan kicker Paul McCallum missed an overtime field goal that would have lifted his Roughriders into Canadian football’s Super Bowl, the Grey Cup.
Who knew the aroma of his actions would have such farreaching effects.
After the BC Lions pulled out a 27-25 victory, several incensed Regina boosters oozed from under their rocks, in search of revenge.
"Fans’’ started showing up at McCallum’s home, pelting it with eggs. Then, as family members were cleaning up one mess, a truck pulled up and dumped livestock manure on a neighbor’s lawn while yelling threats.
"I don’t know the exact quantity (of the manure), but probably any would be unpleasant," said a police spokesperson, blessed with a firm grasp of the obvious.
The silver lining to this brown cloud?
The vandals have now turned McCallum into a sympathetic figure in Regina, and now folks are mad at the slickers instead of the kicker.
"(The fans) are pretty normal, nine-to-five people,’’ local radio host Rod Pedersen said. "But when it comes to the Roughriders, their brains fall on the floor."
ABC executives, apparently the only people in America who missed the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, apologized to viewers for their steamy, sophomoric ‘‘Monday Night Football’’ intro before the Philadelphia-Dallas game.
Doing everything it can to publicize its only new hit, ABC had "Desperate Housewives’’ star Nicollette Sheridan show up in the Philadelphia locker room — wearing only a towel — pleading with Eagles receiver Terrell Owens to skip the game and stay with her.
Sheridan dropped her towel. Owens stayed. Switchboards went wild.
Hey, things could be worse. ABC could have pulled this stunt back when "Roseanne’’ was the No. 1 show on their network.
• The NBA is giving Vince Carter some static, telling the Raptors star he can’t wear his iPod during warm-ups because it violates the league’s dress code.
Carter says the music helps him focus.
Given the fact he’s averaging only 14 points a game this year, perhaps earplugs are a better way to go.
• If I were king of the Arizona Interscholastic Association, no new high school would be allowed to have the words "desert’’ or "mountain’’ in their names.
(Of course, my second action would be to close Desert Mountain immediately, reopening it next fall as Sand Dune High.)
• Dave Wannstedt, Kurt Warner ... at this rate, the Cardinals are going to cost more Americans their jobs than President Bush.