The Vent: June 1 - East Valley Tribune: Opinion

The Vent: June 1

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Posted: Friday, June 1, 2012 7:14 am

“An article in the Arizona Republic last week stated that earlier this year, when crude oil was $108 a barrel, gas was $3.90 a gallon. Crude is now at $88.00 a barrel. According to my calculations, gas should be $3.17 a gallon. Why isn’t it? Looks like another record-setting year for profits for the oil companies at the expense of John Q. Public!”

“When Jesus Christ returns to look over this mess we made, you can bet Donald Trump will be there asking for his long-form birth certificate, and Mitt Romney in the background saying ‘I’m focused on the mess.’”

“Moving to Arizona because of high taxes — apparently one of the reasons that people have been moving out of California and New York was high taxes. Such as individual income tax, estate tax, and inheritance tax in New York, many of those residents relocated to states like Arizona, Florida and Texas where taxes are lower.”

“Finally the airlines are doing something for parents, offering free babysitting during a flight. All they have to do is refuse the $25 ee for sitting next to their child. Maybe the unfortunate person that had to sit next to someone elses crying child would pay the $25 or add insult to injury and hand them diaper bag.”

“With regard to the Mesquite High School yearbook, I am not the only student portrayed in the ‘Senior Spotlight’ features to say, ‘I never said that!’ How difficult is it to correctly print something actually written out for you beforehand? Had you actually read through the yearbook, you would realize the overabundance of illiteracies — far more than would be expected in any publication! The word ‘perform’, for example, was misspelled three times on one page (p-r-e-f-o-r-m). Where were the copy editors? Where was the supervision? And, for your information, they don’t call this ‘The Vent’ for nothing!”

“I brought home a new breed of dog; it won’t drink anything but Tennessee whiskey. They call it a Jack Daniel’s Terrier.”

“Retired lawyer Carolyn Short must have been absent on the day they taught law in law school. She says Arizona’s medical marijuana law is ‘clearly unconstitutional’. There are 16 states and the District of Columbia that have medical marijuana laws. Some such laws date back to the 1990’s. It’s not nearly as ‘clear’ as Ms. Short would have you believe. Ms. Short contends that Arizona has the “most lax marijuana law in the nation” and that medical marijuana has been ‘proved a scam to legalize pot’. She has no evidence mind you, none whatsoever. Such crazy talk comes in the absence of Arizona having not one, repeat not one, operating dispensary. As for recreational use, rather than regulated (and taxed) access like alcohol, one can only conclude that Ms. Short is content with Mexican drug cartels being the primary source. Even her organization’s name is a hilarious oxymoron: KeepAZDrugFree. Not likely to ever happen in your lifetime, Carolyn.”

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