I’m guessing most of you didn’t stay up past midnight to watch the Mesa City Council’s debate Monday over what issues to put before voters in May.
I watched it all, though. I even took notes.
First, about 40 citizens addressed the council. Most of the speakers used their three minutes to plead for the council to put a primary property tax on the May ballot. Finally, around 10:30 p.m., the public discussion ended and the council got to weigh in on the subject.
Here is my unofficial transcript of the discussion:
Keno Hawker: First, I’d like to thank all of the citizens who turned out to speak publicly on this matter. Truly, you have given us much to ignore.
Rex Griswold: I’d really like to reach a decision on this tonight. I’d like to spend some time with my wife.
Tom Rawles: Did you say spend? I will not support any motion that allows Rex to spend any more time on anything. Americans have spent too much time already. Where does it end?
Janie Thom: I’ve given this careful consideration, and I just want to go on record as saying I don’t believe it is the job of this City Council to supply the people of Bangladesh with Mary Kay cosmetics.
Claudia Walters: Uh . . . OK . . . Thanks, Janie.
Hawker: I’m just not comfortable with the idea of a primary property tax. I think city government is overstepping its bounds when it assesses that kind of tax. Unless, of course, it’s for a very good cause, like a really cool swimming pool. That would be different.
Rawles: I’m opposed to swimming. Americans have been asked to swim too much already.
Mike Whalen: I wish I was still a cop.
Kyle Jones: I wish you were still a cop, too. You could shoot Tom.
Walters: I’d feel a lot better about putting a property tax on the ballot if I knew for sure it was going to pass. I don’t like losing. It gives me worry lines.
Thom: I intend to vote no on the Cardinals stadium.
Jones: I can get you two bullets, Mike . . .
Hawker: Now, let’s review. We have two votes to put a primary property tax on the May ballot, three votes for a sales tax extension and increase, three votes to sell the city cow for a bag of magic beans and six votes not to tell Janie when the next meeting is. Correct?
Jones: I think there were also two votes to shoot Tom.
Hawker: Well, then, we’re all agreed. Nothing goes on the ballot.
Walters: I just hope it passes. What if the people write in things and then vote against them? That worries me.
Rawles: I’m opposed to voting. Americans have been asked . . .
Whalen: Shut up, Tom.