Women love
romance. You
only have to
peruse the shelves at
Barnes and Noble to see
the evidence. Considering
that about 70 percent of
books published don’t
make a profit, publishers
are very discerning
about what they invest
in, and romantic fiction
is still thriving. The
same is true for movies
having a strong romantic
component (men, don’t
check out yet, you may
learn something).
There is such an
emotional connection
as we follow a story of
people finding their way
to each other and ending
up in a life-long love affair.
Think of The Notebook. A
young couple so obviously
meant to be together,
but complications break
them up until they find
their way back. We see
the passion of youth and
infatuation, the grief
of separation and the
abiding spirit of honest,
selfless commitment.
Even the painful parts are
sweet and lovely.
Unfortunately life
doesn’t typically follow
the storyline of
a novel or the
scripting of a
movie. While
real women
have romantic
relationships and
marriages that
likely include the
stages of blind
adoration, a
smidge of discord
and (hopefully)
long-term commitment,
there is also life outside
the frame of the screen.
We battle our selfimage
issues, strive to
stay fit and attractive,
seek to find relevance,
worry about our children,
care for ill or aging loved
ones, squeak out financial
provision, all the while
deeply desiring the
absolute love of one man.
We want him to tell us
we’re beautiful and make
us believe he really thinks
so. We want him to point
out the ways we
are significant, to
reassure us about
our children, to
partner with us as
we care for others
and to work as
hard as we do to
provide.
That’s the way
we’re wired and
it’s no mistake
because all those
things are according to
God’s model for romance
and marriage. But in
order to achieve this
picture-perfect design,
there is one major
requirement: Two people
who are willing to hold up
their end of the equation.
Many women don’t get
that. They want the
fabulous leading man but
don’t see that instead of
being the leading lady,
they’re the lazy, sarcastic,
self-absorbed side-kick.
Or maybe they have good
hearts but aren’t really
putting in the time and
energy it takes to keep
their end of the teetertotter
off the ground.
We can’t expect to be
regarded as a princess if
we act like a commoner.
As daughters of the King,
our first priority should
be to make sure our lives
reflect the character of
our Father. If so, we’re
worthy of (and will
attract) a man who wants
to treat us accordingly.
Perhaps you are
holding up your end but
the guy at the other end is
slacking. You’re the living
definition of a wonderful
woman but he takes
you for granted, doesn’t
help out and seldom
seems to offer praise or
compliments. If you’re
not married to him, think
about losing the dead
weight and focusing on
becoming the best you
can be, trusting God to
intersect your path with
the right man as you walk
on. If you are married,
well, I suggest you
touch base with a good
counselor or coach to
help you find equilibrium
in your relationship,
and then perhaps the
romance will emerge.
Consider reading Sacred
Influence by Gary Thomas
and The Man Whisperer by
Rick Johnson.
Whether you’re
single or in a committed
relationship do you
feel that you’re lacking
romance? Why is it
important? What can you
do today to add a little
pizzazz to your life on
Valentine‘s Day and every
day?
Ahwatukee Foothills
resident Diane Markins
can be reached at Diane@
Visit her blog www.
