What are your special traditions for the first day of school? I have a friend who took her husband and kids to breakfast the first day of school every year for over 14 years. How many pictures did you take of your kids dressed and ready for the first day of school in kindergarten and first grade, dressed in those cute little skirts and with brand new lunch boxes? What has changed? Did you take a picture of your middle school student on the first day of school this year? How about your sophomore? Or have you, as a parent, forgotten all about your part in school? Do you ask to see their planners every day? Do you inquire as to what book they are reading? Do you talk about what they learned in history today?
Too often parents think that since their kids are in middle school or high school that their responsibility is over, that their kids are big enough to take care of themselves. Here's what too many kids see: if it's not important to my parents, why should it be important to me? Remember when you read to your children every night before they went to bed? How much fun was that? When was the last time you and your child read a book together, or even an article? Are they too big? Says who? When was the last time you asked your child what he/she thought about a moral dilemma or the ending of a story? When was the last time they asked you?
Do you look at what your child is wearing when they leave the house? Do you approve? Is it attractive and appropriate? Is it cleaned and ironed? Do you know what music in downloaded on their MP3 player? Would you find it acceptable?
When was the last time you saw a movie together and discussed it or watched the news and discussed it?
At my school, if students have not completed their homework, they are sent to the office to call their parent and let them know. Some kids call every period. We have had parents actually ask us not to call any more. Really? You don't want to know that your child is not holding up his end of the deal. Or do you not want to know that you are not holding up your end of the deal?
We worry about our kids doing drugs or getting into trouble, but too many of us parents have given up our responsibility as parents before it is time. How can we keep channels of communication open if we don't use them every day? When was the last time you spoke to your child?
Anne Marshall is a teacher at Tempe's Grand Canyon Preparatory, a public charter school.
Robin Goodfellow posted at 1:50 pm on Tue, Sep 4, 2012.
This is just the same old Parent/Teacher blame game, but presented from the obverse side. Ms. Marshall's frustration is almot palpable, but that doesn't mean that her tirade is any more accurate than the rantings of those who lay the entire blame for negative student outcomes at the feet of our teachers. Neither group is well served by painting the other with a broad brush of apathy. We should be trying to build alliances rather than playing an implicit or explicit blame game. Remember, our children learn from us, and they don't just learn the lessons that we are trying to teach.
anneinaz posted at 6:47 pm on Tue, Sep 4, 2012.
Robin, you got that dead on. You are 100% correct. If you knew me you'd know what a team player I am and how hard I work with parents that are willing. I will try to reread my next entry with an untainted eye before I post it. Thank you.
Robin Goodfellow posted at 9:44 am on Wed, Sep 5, 2012.
Anne, I assumed that you were one of those working on the solution instead of the problem; that you took the time to write the article is proof of that. I wish I had universal answers, but I don't. I don't know if critical thinking is waning or if the new media delivery channels just make it easier for non-critical thinkers to publish their non-messages. Whichever it is, teacher, parents, and students now have a significant challenge just to cut through the clutter so that learning can occur.
Parents have a significant role to play in their children's education, arguably, the primary role. We were fortunate; I grew up in a home that REALLY valued education and my children got to watch as I went through college as a "non-traditional student", paying my own way. My kids had white boards in their rooms when they were in school, and we discussed not only course subject matter but its relevance to the world around us. But my experience tells me that many, if not most parents, though they really want the best for their kids, have neither the time nor the educational and experiential background to give their children the tools they will need to succeed. We live in a sound bite world but, for the task at hand, sound bites just won't do. Thanks for fighting the fight.