Outhier: What are you really saying? - East Valley Tribune: Get Out

Outhier: What are you really saying?

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Posted: Friday, November 7, 2008 4:19 pm | Updated: 11:24 pm, Fri Oct 7, 2011.

People can infer a lot about you from your clothes, your jewelry, the kind of car you drive. For instance, somebody who owns a Volkswagen Passat is essentially saying, "I'm not very useful in a fight." And so on.

But what does your favorite Scottsdale bar or nightclub say about you? What personal statement are you subtly and nonverbally making to the outside world? Keep reading to find out.

Pussycat Lounge: "If you buy me a Grey Goose martini, I'll text-message you a picture of my genitalia."

Dos Gringos: "I have $30 in my bank account and I'm spending all of it on Coronas."

Billet Bar: "If I wear leather chaps and scowl a lot, maybe no one will guess that I'm an accountant."

Axis/Radius: "Hey baby. My uncle owns a Mercedes-Benz dealership in Tehran."

Barcelona: "Yes, that is my hand on your knee, young lady. I also own a dental practice."

Devil's Martini (Old Town): "I'm single and secretly miserable."

Devil's Martini (North): "I'm married and secretly miserable."

San Felipe's Cantina: "If my breast implants don't revive my marriage, then climbing on top of this bar and grinding against another woman will absolutely do the trick."

Pattie's First Avenue Lounge: "I will soon be urinating in public. In the meantime, I will shoot pool."

Saddle Ranch: "I generally rank g-string sightings above stimulating conversation."

Gilligin's: "When not getting drunk as cheaply as possible, I like to buy little plastic toys out of vending machines."

E4: "If I drink enough $12 rum and Cokes, I'll almost be able to convince myself that I'm living in L.A."

Six: "These Rohypnols are burning a hole in my pocket."

The Coach House: "I hope none of the partners from my law firm see me here."

The Grapevine: "I have picked the one hobby - karaoke - that makes those medieval dress-up clubs look cool."

AZ 88: "I'm not gay. I just like a good salad."

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